Who The Heck Is HASWOE? (and other true stories)

An A-Z of the people and puppies mentioned in the blog . . .

Amelie Vivien Olivia: Eddie & HASWOE’s second pup, named after a blog-request for suggestions. The Amelie part came from A’Hottie (from the movie of the same name), the Vivien from Daisy (from Viven Leigh), and the Olivia from IGSOH (from the children’s book). She goes by Ami for short. HASWOE loves to say her name with a French accent. We’re also looking for some sort of movie-related gnome for her.

Anonymoushottie: A’Hottie is, well, obviously a hottie, but also a truly awesome individual, with an amazing blog that you should check out. She has rapidly become one of Eddie’s best friends, she is very passionate about reproductive justice, and she is destined to make a huge difference in the world. She rocks, and plays a mean game of scrabble. Oh, and she goes weak and giddy at the mention of Ryan Adams. Oh, and her hair, which is awesome, is its own living entity, and it has been rumored that it actually controls her.

Artful Blogger: Ebert, Siskel, and Roeper all rolled into one entity. Well, without the deadness of Mr. Siskel, obvs. Despite this, he still lost many points for dragging me to see Speed Racer, although as he was treating me to it, he gains some of those points back. Also a foodie, knows a thing or two about hockey, and also finds time to blog

Bedford Falls: Eddie’s best friend from ‘back home’ - we’re trying to move him across the pond, so any offers of a job or a wife, speak up now. Bedford has been absent from the blog for many months now, but Eddie has it on good authority that he is still alive, and that he does still remember who Eddie is.

Commodore: (the specifics of this entry will be determined based on the winner of the Stanley Cup. Penguins win - nice things will be said. Wings win - bad things will be said. End of story.)

Crossers (aka Beaner): First puppy of HASWOE and Eddie, one of the few puppies to have been knighted by The Queenie; Sir Crosserston of Crossershire is his official title, but he usually goes by another name, kept secret on the blog to protect his royal identity.

Daisy Duke: Another wonderful friend, who Eddie met through A’Hottie, and who can get a little neurotic about her hair, despite the fact that she looks like a very hot actress, and actually photographs better than previously reffered to actress. She also has a very cool blog which is essential reading. Sings a daily duet with Eddie to keep their operatic vocal chords in shape.

Enabler (aka BISMOW/BYSMOW): Recently ‘outed’ boy-toy of Daisy Duke, and fellow hockey fan, which of course makes him a great person. He’s a Wings fan, which knocks a few points off, but not as many points as if he had picked any of 26 other teams (adored are Penguins fans, and allowed are Wings, Blackhawks and Capitals fans with minor point deductions). Enabler can also enable much hilarity with that wit of his. Obviously not English wit, but the next best thing. He also blogs a mean blog

GOS: Goddess Of Shoes, she and Eddie used to work together until Eddie became too annoying for her and she ran away. As you can imagine, she is in cahoots with HASWOE on the whole shoe thing, and together they keep the shoe industry in the black. Eddie misses her lots.

HASWOE: Hot And Sexy Wife Of Eddie, attorney extraordinaire, and all around awesome person. Has a few OCD issues when it comes to cleaning, but then she is cleaning up after Eddie. Her main passion is shoes, and all things shoey. Oh, and handbags. And Sidney Crosby. But mainly shoes. She has lots of shoes.

IGSOH: Incredibly Gorgeous Sister Of HASWOE, and completely adorable in everything she does. Has many nicknames, the most appropriate being ‘Baby Dangerous’. Remains convinced that Eddie has 3 wives and 7 kids locked away in basements across the UK.

Murphy (aka Labster): A’Hottie’s slobbering, freaking adorable puppy who is on the same awesome level as Crossers and Ami, only he also has this thing that is called ‘obedience’. Eddie secretly hopes that Murphy will teach Crossers and Ami about this ‘obedience’ following ‘The Big Move’, but is also secretly concerned that they will teach Murphy the powers of disobedience as well as the intricacies of wine-tasting.

Namby Pamby: Pant-dropping attorney-in-stripes, never fails to make you laugh, even when he doesn’t say anything. In fact it’s often safer if he doesn’t say anything as he has a propensity for jinxing anything he talks about. Allegedly plays a similar golf game to Tiger Woods. Check out the weird world of his blog.

More ‘players’ to come as they become regulars….